Tomorrow

I have been taking progesterone supplements from peak day +3 through +12 for the past three months now.  Although this has not resulted in a pregnancy thus far, it has seemed to make my cycle even more predictable.  For example, right now, I am on peak +14, which means that I am probably going to start my period tomorrow, since I have for the past two cycles.  I feel like I am going to, because I'm all crampy.  Also, I have been quite emotional the past few days.  Luckily, another good effect from the progesterone is that I am less emotional during this premenstrual time.  I am thankful for that.

My family recently went on a fun vacation, and being outside more often has helped to clear my head somewhat, so I'm hoping I'm ready to blog a little bit more in the near future.

Adrenal Fatigue

First of all, no baby this month.  : (

I was pretty upset for a while, but I had another appointment with my FertilityCare NP (nurse practitioner) yesterday, and now I have more information about what is causing my hormone imbalances.

Let me recap:  My thyroid hormones are abnormal, as are my progesterone levels.  I started progesterone support last cycle.  In order to get a clearer picture regarding my thyroid, my NP recommended a couple more tests.  This was to determine what is causing my thyroid hormone abnormality. 

The findings from the cortisol saliva test are that my cortisol levels are normal in the morning, but are too low at mid-day and afternoon.  Then, at night, my cortisol levels are too high.  This is a sign of an adrenal problem.  The NP described mine as "adrenal fatigue."

In order to remedy this, I am starting licorice root upon waking and at noon through CD 10 in order to increase the half-life of my cortisol (keep it in my system longer).  I am not supposed to take the licorice root beyond day 10 because I am trying to conceive, and one of the side effects of this drug is that it can elevate your blood pressure.  Another thing I am supposed to try is to lay down in the afternoon for 15-20 minutes in order to reset my cortisol. 

I told the NP about some other symptoms I have been having, and she thinks I may be experiencing hypoglycemia, so I am not supposed to have any simple sugars or fruit sugars before 11:00am.  Then, it is recommended that I have a high protein snack in the afternoon.   

So, this is the course of action I'm taking for now.  I am really hoping and praying that these adrenal problems can be remedied and are not the beginning of something more serious.  Although the NP did not allude to this being the development of a serious problem, as I was doing research on the adrenal system, of course, there were some more serious disorders that popped up.  I know I need to give this up to God and not let my thoughts carry me into unnecessary worry.  Could you please say a prayer for me?  Thank you so much.

Prayer Buddy

I'm fairly new to this blogging world, so I completely overlooked the fact that I am supposed to post whom I have been praying for this Lenten season!  I had the privelage to pray for Cheerfully Chaotic.  I have found her blog to be such a treat and breath of fresh air.  It appears she actually has two blogs: the aforementioned...and then Cheerfully Chaotic Kitchen.  I have already found at least one recipe I would like to try from her site!  I look forward to exploring more of her ideas.  Cheerfully Chaotic, I remembered you in the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplets as well as offering up your intentions during the Holy Mass.  I can't remember whom I learned this effective prayer from here in the Catholic blogosphere, but I also tried to remember you at the moment I received the Eucharist.  I hope you can feel God's grace in your life more strongly, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

I was also pleased to learn that Love Came Down has been praying for me during Lent.  I had not happened upon her blog yet, so it was wonderful to find yet another IF-er here in cyberspace.  Thank you so much for your prayers for me, Love Came Down!!  I am so very appreciative.  It was a difficult, but wonderful Lent and now a very blessed Easter season! 

Waiting & Congratulations

Happy Easter!

Congratulations to fellow blogger friend, Mom & Then Some regarding her wonderful news!!  I am so happy for you and am praying for you!!

This is the Hour of Mercy (3:00 hour--the hour that Jesus died), and I still need to pray the Divine Mercy today, so I will keep this short. 

This was my first cycle of taking progesterone pills from peak +3 to peak +12.  I am pretty sure I am going to have my period any day/hour now, but I am still hopeful.  Has anyone had any problems with nausea from anytime after ovulation until your new cycle begins?  I need to ask my NP about that, as I have been experiencing this pretty much every cycle we have tried to conceive.  I honestly feel like I did when I was pregnant with my son.  Must have something to do with hormones.  It's hopefully not because I am conceiving and then miscarrying.  I am not sure how disappointed I am going to feel if I start my period, since I have been so hopeful with this progesterone.  Please pray for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful Divine Mercy Sunday and get to watch some of the JP II beatification footage on T.V.!!!

The Verdict...

I completed my month of hormone testing, and the results have come back in:  very low Vitamin D, abnormal thyroid hormones, and abnormal progesterone levels.  I won't even begin to act as though I understand what all was said to me regarding these problems.  I only know that something is amiss with my thyroid hormones, and although my total number comes back within the normal range, one of the numbers is lower than it should be with another level making up for that deficiency.  With my progesterone, I have a much slower rise in progesterone than I should.  I'm not exactly sure what this entails, but I think it's questionable as to whether or not I'm ovulating every month. 

I have further testing to determine what is causing my thyroid problems (e.g., cortisol/stress?).  Also, I will begin progesterone supplements this month.  If the progesterone supplementation doesn't work, then we will try the sonograms with hcg supplementation after three months. 

Thank you for your continued prayers.  I think they are really helping with my having a more peaceful attitude regarding this sub/infertility.  Praying for all those who are struggling with the same.

Good News & Intro to Hormone Testing

We found out some good news regarding the SA (or SFA).  All is fine with that, which is a relief.

Of course, along with the relief came some ugly feelings of fear and loneliness.  It felt nice when DH was right by my side...in the trenches with me.  It is hard for me to not feel a little like this is a path that I am walking without him, now that the finger points to me as the problem.

I don't want to be this way.  I don't want this to be about me versus DH.  I KNOW that we are doing this together, but I am so weak.

I want to constantly trust in Jesus and know that he is there with me.  I want to always remember that DH is still impacted, even when he is not the one getting his blood drawn every other day.  (Tomorrow is my third day of blood testing.)

I know that when I try to fix my eyes on Jesus with my own strength, I fail.

I have been reading the book Consoling the Heart of Jesus by Father Michael Gaitley.  It is absolutely beautiful.  Have you read it?  It's a retreat that you can do on your own time, and it is phenomenal!  I have learned so much.  Right now, I am reading the "Conclusion", and it may be one of the most important spiritual (non-Bible) books I have ever read.

Anyhow, I have been practicing some of the things I have learned from the book which could not have come at a better time in my life.  I KNOW God will help me overcome these temptations to wallow in sadness and loneliness.  I know He will take these sufferings and create something much better out of them.

Mary, Queen of Heaven, please pray for us!

Unity & Trust

DH and I "performed" the se.men analysis (SA) today.  It was such a strange experience.

For one, I felt so embarrassed.  Talking about s.ex still makes me blush.  Also, we haven't told family about our infertility/subfertility, so we had to be secretive about our "errands" while they watched our son.  It felt a bit like lying.  DH didn't like how he felt during the turn of today's events.  He said it felt like he was cheating on me or something.  Yes, it was odd.  The hospital lab we used was just a tad too far from our house, so we got a room at a hotel.  This was necessary so we could get the sample to the lab in under 30 minutes.  Also, we had to use a (perforated) con.do.m to collect the specimen.  Never used one of those before = STRANGE!  Declaring out loud--in person--to the lab tech that we are Catholic and needed to take our cup out of the hospital and return it was a little embarrassing.  (I called in beforehand to double check this was okay.)  However, it seems to be getting easier with each subsequent conversation.  It's also positive that we have probably educated some health care workers about the "Catholic way" of getting the specimen.

I have to say that although I don't want to have to reproduce today's activities ever again, I am happy with some of the fruits.  First of all, today certainly humbled my husband and me.  We are evermore aware that we are not in control of our fertility, nor do we create a life on our own.  Secondly, although the method was stressful, it brought us together in a way that the typical SA would not.  We had to rely on God, and this gave us no other choice than to cling to Him and to each other.