Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Offering It Up

BFN today.

My instinct is to just numb the pain with television or other distractions, but a little voice inside my head reminded me of the good use I can make of this suffering.  So I offer this pain and disappointment for the fellow IF blogger I am praying for right now.  I offer it up for all of you IF'ers and those of you who are currently pregnant, as well as those of you who have been blessed and now struggle in motherhood.  I also offer up my suffering for our Church and our priests and all my loved ones.  I know these prayers are efficacious, and although this really hurts, I am glad to be able to do it.

We sang In Christ Alone by Ge.tty and Town.send again this past Sunday, and I can't get over how powerful the words and music are.  I will end with the final verse, which lifts me up and gives me hope:

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
this is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
can ever pluck me from his hand;
Till he returns or calls me home,
here in power of Christ I'll stand.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

First HCG Shot

I just got my first HCG shot on Friday.  It wasn't too painful.  I read about some of the side effects online, but I'm wondering if it can cause sleep disturbances.  The past two nights, I have woken up multiple times.  I noticed that I woke up several times during the night when I was on progesterone, too.  Perhaps, it is my body's reaction to coming off the licorice root, which I think would help me to sleep better at night, since it increases the half-life of cortisol.  I only take licorice root for the first 10 days of my cycle, since a side effect can be increased blood pressure (which is bad if you become pregnant, of course).

I am cautiously hopeful about this treatment.  The nurse mentioned that it can take a few tries before the HCG works.

I just hope I don't have another hemhorragic cyst like I did two cycles ago.  I am pretty sure that, although not confirmed by ultrasound, I had one on my right side last cycle.  I wonder if cysts on the ovaries are hereditary, because my sister had terrible pains in her side about a month ago and found out that she had ovarian cysts that burst...on both sides.

Well, I am praying for a miracle, but also the grace to withstand my disappointment if this cycle doesn't end the way I desire.

Prayer Buddy, I could really use your prayers right now.  : ) Thank you so much.