Well, I'm officially not pregnant again this month.
It's difficult to not despair...to not want to quit trying.
I realize these thoughts of giving up are only a certain evil one trying to get me to abandon the pathway God desires for my life.
In a couple days, I'm sure my tune will change. I'll become "gung-ho" again and I'll make an appointment to speak with an expert on the Creighton Method of NFP. Maybe after she looks at my charts that I've been documenting for the past 10 years (using Billings), she'll see that it isn't because we don't understand when I am fertile. Maybe she'll notice something looks "off" with my cycle. But, I have had other experts take a look-see, and they say it appears to be normal. They tell me to feel at peace and confident that it appears all is working as it should.
We also need to have my DH checked. But, this is tricky, too. You see, as a Catholic, he cannot just go into the little room, look at por.nography, and do the deed. I would never want him to. But...this is what is expected of a man. In order to use a method that is in line with Catholic teachings...and quite frankly...with human decency, we will have to get a little creative. As far as I know, there is no offering of post-coital testing in this area. Maybe I should get in touch with the Catholic doctor. That's another item for my to-do list.
Swimming against the current is such a heavy burden.
I know that it will all be worth it one day.
At the moment, I just dread it.
Lord, give me peace.
Welcome to the blog world! I guess its a bittersweet welcome as wouldn't it be great if we had no need for these blogs? If I read your profile right, you're going through secondary infertility, correct? There are several bloggers who have gone through/are going through that as well, so hopefully you find the support you need on here :) Its a lonely road and makes for awkward conversations, but we understand each other online!
ReplyDeleteWow, how frustrating to have experts tell you everything's working right. Before I found a NaPro doctor, it seemed like anyone I talked to just dismissed my concerns immediately. It was really irritating, when I just knew (and could tell from my charts) that something was wrong. I hope you get some answers--and some consolation--soon!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the welcome! I feel so blessed to have found this online community.
ReplyDeleteCall PPVI! They have a Catholic-approved semen testing kit!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nicole! Sometimes I cannot believe the amount of resistance we have met in doing this test in line with Catholic teaching. I will look into the kit. I pray that the logistics of getting the sample to the lab will not be too stressful, but I guess we will just take it one step at a time.
ReplyDeleteIt's not too difficult. Depends on what lab your doc wants you to use and how far away you live from it. I've even heard of couples renting a hotel room near the lab and rushing it over! :) It's certainly do-able and nothing to stress about. PPVI will walk you through the process before they send it to you. No worries!
ReplyDeleteI will email you about the semen testing the morally acceptable way...
ReplyDelete