Not the Same Thing

I found a wonderful blog/apostolate that had a link to a Catholic Answers episode about the topic of infertility.  I listened the podcast last night, because I really enjoy that radio show. 

The episode was quite good, and I look forward to seeking out some of the resources the guest spoke about.

However, I was disappointed and a little annoyed when the last caller came on the show.  She wasn't infertile.  She made a good point that it is also a struggle for women who so easily become pregnant--that even their NFP instructors/mentors look at their charts and are baffled as to how they conceived.

I don't want to in any way diminish the pain and struggle that these women are going through.  I don't understand what it's like.

I want to reiterate that I think the caller made a good point.

But...why did she have to do that?

Why did she have to take that episode and try to change it to her subject?  It's because she doesn't understand. 

I know that women who have lots of children face their own battles with people making rude comments, such as, "You do know what causes that, right?"  There was a clever YouTube video that came out around Christmas that tried to make light of the comments larger families are constantly bombarded with.  It was a play on the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas."  Each verse began, "On the __th day of Christmas, a stranger said to me..." 

These families don't have the option of people not knowing about their uber fertility.

I guess that's one good thing about infertility.  It's not quite as obvious.  Although people may suspect your infertility, they may also think, "Well, maybe they don't want to have children" (or anymore children, in my case).  Which does bring me to another thought that I struggle with at times:  I don't want people to think that my husband and I contracept.  But, I'll save that for another entry, since this one is already too long.

My point is:  just because you are struggling with increased fertility, it doesn't mean you understand what it's like to be infertile.  It is not the same.  I'm not trying to mean.  I just want people to know that, often times, it is not healing for someone with infertility to hear someone else with intact fertility complain about how blessed she is with her abundance of children.  I understand what these individuals are saying, and I don't want to ignore their crosses, but they NEED to know that they should NOT bring that up in a conversation about infertility.