It's Happening Again

I'm starting this blog because I feel like it's happening again. 

Not only is it probably going to happen again, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

No one wants to hear about their friend's infertility woes.

Few of my friends understand anyway.

Many of them are abundantly blessed with several children of their own.

A little bit of background:  My husband and I have one beautiful son.  We have been trying unsuccessfully for over a year to conceive again.  We just began the process of looking into if there might be something wrong. 

Here is the trick:  We are both Catholic, and we are not interested in exploring every fertility opportunity our modern world provides.  I am not here to pass judgment.  I know plenty of individuals, some of them rather close friends/relatives, who used methods I will not pursue.  That is the road they chose to travel.  We do not want to follow them.  We would prefer to stick strictly to what the Catholic Church allows in terms of fertility treatment. 

This is where things get sticky and where I lose potential advocates.  I cannot talk to these friends/family about my/our infertility without appearing that I am judging them for their decisions.  In addition, I am afraid that I don't want them to give me advice on what they think I should/shouldn't do in evaluating/treating my/our infertility.

I know that I am not alone.

Literally, I am accompanied on this journey by my Creator.  Also, I know that there are other Catholics out there who want to abide by the guidelines set forth by the Catholic Church, and you also need someone to talk to.  It is hard in this day and age when all you hear about are your friends who are easily having babies...or others who are using in vitro to become pregnant. 

I understand that this is a suffering that God is allowing in my life, and through this suffering, I am being sanctified.  I understand that.  But, I still hope to one day be able to have more children.  The alternate option of closing myself off to life is not acceptable...as tempting as it may feel to me at times.

So, that is my mess of an introduction.

It feels very raw, but the emotions that come out of infertility are so incredibly raw and heart-wrenching, and if you are also experiencing it, you know what I mean.